Thursday, May 08, 2008

They're killing Independent MOAM!

So, Jerry Seinfeld used to do this routine in which he would talk about how Nighttime Jerry is always screwing over Morning Jerry by staying up too late and drinking and having a blast, with complete disregard for how Morning Jerry is going to feel about that the next day. I think about that a lot because I operate like that on a daily basis. Morning MOAM is routinely pissed off at Nighttime MOAM. But lately I've also been doing this new thing, where Ambitious MOAM starts pissing off Lazy MOAM. Now, Lazy MOAM is undoubtedly present a majority of the time, as is evidenced by the state of my home. But Ambitious MOAM thinks it would be great if Lazy MOAM would get off her ass and throw a bridal shower (Ambitious MOAM forced Lazy MOAM to do this just last week), or cook Christmas and Easter dinners. Yesterday, Ambitious MOAM volunteered to host Mother's Day at Lazy MOAM's dingy apartment, and when the guests eagerly took Ambitious MOAM up on her offer, Lazy MOAM was highly irritated.

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