Since I know you're all waiting with bated breath for an update on "The Bachelor," here it is: Our well-groomed English dumbass picked Shayne, a 22-year-old bleach blonde actress wannabe dripping with ingenuousness (is that a word) that seemed obvious to everyone except HIM. He even proposed and she, of course, accepted, all the while shouting in her Smurfette voice obnoxious things about them loving each other.
The good news is that a new BACHELORETTE is coming out, and devoted fans like us know those are few and far between, since the network probably loses most of its male viewers when all of the T&A disappear, only to be replaced by a lot of sausage. It will be slightly amusing. The bachelorette herself is one of the chicks eliminated by the previous bachelor (before the English dude), that Southern guy, Brad, who owns bars or something and who'd decided in the end that he didn't like either of the chicks very much so eliminated them both. Which was rad, actually. BK and I call the new bachelorette Blinky, because she has a definite blinking problem. Tune in next Monday! You'll see!