Thursday, February 22, 2007

I've been a very negligent blogger, but I'll just stop right there because that's the worst and most cliched way to start a blog entry. Aside from which, there are literally only four people who occasionally read this to see how I am embarrassing myself lately, and I don't think they're hanging on every word, exactly.

So in what ways have I embarrassed myself lately? Let me count the ways.

-I scraped my Beetle and didn't tell my husband about it until three days later. Well, I never actually told him about it, I just sort of let him find it himself. He is now convinced I am probably also having an extramarital affair, since apparently deceptions of this sort are simply indications of much deeper and darker secrets.

-I have been eating myself into oblivion. Today I ate approximately 12 Girl Scout cookies and it's not even my typical dessert hour (my actual "dessert hour" is really more of a span of time, namely between the time I finish dinner and the time I go to bed). This eating marathon I've been on has contributed to my current status of Weighing More Than I Have Ever Weighed Before, resulting in Problems with Pants Fitting Correctly, Permanent Double Chin, and Excessive Back Fat.

-It was in this large state that I met old friends I hadn't seen in a while for tea the other day. They had the decency not to mention I've begun to resemble a hippo.

-I recently took a horribly dull class for work called "Design, Operation and Maintenance of Building Systems, Part I." I am astounded that I am voluntarily doing such a thing, in part because the material is so, so boring (ie., how air conditioning systems work -- major snoozer stuff like that).