Wednesday, August 29, 2007

So I'm not sure what I was expecting when they told me I would be wearing a heart monitor today, but it certainly wasn't this.
So here's how it went down -- a nurse led me into an exam room and told me to remove my shirt and bra and then she stood there and stared at me until I understood she wanted me to actually remove my clothing in front of her, which, fine, whatever. If nothing else, this experience has made me a little less modest in front of strangers, but I'm not sure if that's actually a bonus?
Anyway, then she took a piece of sand paper (or something really similar) and scratched the crap out of my chest and my rib cage and then slapped electrode thingies on me and fastened them down with some horrible tape I just know is going to hurt like hell when she rips it off tomorrow.
Each electrode is a different color, and a different colored wire runs from each to a box about the size of a canteen, which I'm wearing on a belt around my waist. I've been forbidden from swimming and showering and told to be careful when venturing into public because all of the wires and whatnot could be mistaken for a bomb. The nurse told me this in complete seriousness.
I am to wear this to bed and to come in again tomorrow morning to be "disconnected."
I am to record all of my activities throughout the day, including (according to the little brochure I have here) bowel movements and sexual activity. Well, there's really nothing that turns me on more than looking like a robot!! I'm sure Hubs feels the same way.
Well, I did take a photo of this madness so I could post it on here, but it's taking a while to reach my mail so I'll stick it in here later.
Ta for now!

1 comment:

  1. This is so ridiculous. You told me all about it, but when I read it, I just think, "How absurd!!" Followed by, "I am so, so sorry."