Monday, January 08, 2007

Christina has just informed me that it's very possible I have brain damage, which she believes may explain why I think of chocolate more as a dear friend than simply candy.
She's reading a book that will hopefully save me from ever having to go for two weeks without carbs again. She's on page 19, but things look hopeful.
So yes, here I am on Day 8 of the Southbeach Diet, and I've lost 10 lbs, which is just evidence of my severe need to lose weight in the first place. Yes, I'm feeling significantly less bloated, but also significantly more crazy. A simple trip to Ikea last night turned into a complete nightmare as soon as we stepped out of the car. You can smell their evil cinammon rolls from about 14 miles away, way before you're even in the building. I think that led to the dream I had last night that Brendan woke up in the middle of the night, drove to Jack in the Box, bought a hamburger, came back and was eating it in bed. In my dream, I woke up and he's like halfway done with his burger, looking very pleased but guilty at the same time. I actually snatch the burger away from him and throw it away. I think this is obsession!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Well I got my first gray hair and it was on the first day of 2007. Is that an omen? And actually, it was less gray than silver. And it wasn't in a cool place, like on my temple, like I hoped. My grandparents talk about my grandpa's mother, who had a full head of black hair her whole life, with just one streak of gray along one temple. No such luck for me, this sucker popped up right in the dead center of my stupid head.
Meanwhile I am on the southbeach diet once again, which causes me to lose an embarrassing number of lbs in the first 2 weeks since I apparently retain water like a camel. So no carbs until the 15th, which means I'll be salivating over all of the chocolate sitting out at work, which all of the women I work with also refuse to eat, having started diets of their own.
I've also managed to develop some problem with my ear, which is probably just impacted ear wax or something (yes I am disgusting) since I wear earplugs all the time. I've been trying ear drops and tried flushing it out, to no avail. I have visions of a perfectly circular squirt of wax washing out of my ear and a wonderful sense of relief resulting. I should just go to a doctor, but I am not the type who does that very willingly. I need to be in some pretty serious discomfort and I haven't reached that level yet. Also, about 32 percent of me is convinced I have some terrible and rare ear disease, and I dread the diagnosis. Undoubtedly, it will result in complete deafness.