Monday, March 17, 2014

well

I'd be doing well to put up one post a week, but that doesn't seem manageable quite yet. I really, truly thought blogging was going to be possible post-baby, but it turns out I didn't know jack shit about babies. Ha!

Like, what'd be cool is if you could get stuff done while babies slept. Or, like, if you could sleep while your baby sleeps. What I didn't anticipate was how HARD is it to get a baby to sleep. Sometimes by the time I get my baby to sleep, I've also fallen asleep, and then he wakes me up. Most times, I spend half an hour getting him to sleep, and then 15 minutes later he's awake and ready to party until the next nap rolls around. This is barely enough time to mash a sandwich into my mouth-hole, much less put on makeup or clean bathrooms or BLOG, for godssakes.

(BTW sleep training has gone by the wayside for the time being. He improved SLIGHTLY so I let it go, besides which I am nowhere near ready to listen to him wail. It hurts me.)

Nonetheless, little Graham gets cuter by the day. He's in full-on drool mode, possibly teething, although I don't see any evidence other than the drool. He's got grabbing stuff down, and most of it finds its way into his mouth. He likes to stand up (with help). He likes when his dad whistles. He's just learned, hysterically, to splash in the tub. He does not like being ignored or made to sit in his chair for FIVE FRIGGING MINUTES while mommy makes a piece of toast. He dislikes having his nails cut. He hates all of his carriers other than the car seat.

His hair is falling out, and so is mine, in great clumps. To-do today: remove giant hair monster from shower drain. I need a hair cut pronto so I can just chop off this witchy crud and start over with a new batch. I do wonder what color his hair will end up being. So far his eyes are looking sometimes hazel, sometimes greenish (!), but I believe they'll eventually settle into brown.

We moved Baby G into his own room over the weekend, after MUCH hemming and hawing and major guilt on my part, because, I dunno, now he has to sleep in a room alone instead of three feet from me and we can't wake each other up all night long? But he's about 3 and a half months old, and frankly I'd been wanting to move him for about two months now. But there are all these concerns about SIDS and then my own paranoia about him, I dunno, injuring himself somehow in his crib, which I logically know is the safest possible place in the entire house for him.

So anyway, the move went OK. He did wake more frequently, but each time I went into his room he was angled 90 degrees from where I'd placed him and grinning maniacally at the ceiling fan. So I'd say he's OK with his room, at least.

I guess that's about it for now. I'd write some book reviews but I don't have time. Which makes me sad. I do rate them on goodreads if you feel like checking out what I've been reading on there (I think the link is on my sidebar. I don't have time to link to it, even. Ugh). I haven't picked up a new read for a couple weeks because I'm looking for something really good. Open to suggestions!

Friday, February 14, 2014

regression

The child is going through some kind of sleep regression thing, dudes. The nap issue wasn't enough. We are literally back to the same sleeping pattern he had as a brand new baby, waking five times a night (he's now 11 weeks). Except at least as a newborn he napped during the day. FUUUUUUUUN. Shoot me.

I read some article recently that called parenting "all joy and no fun." I see how some could arrive at that conclusion, and it feels that way sometimes. Like at 4 a.m., the most horrible hour of the day. BUT. Then I have a "conversation" with a beaming Graham --

Him: "Ooooooooo!"
Me: "I love you, too!"
Him: "Wooooaaaaaa?"
Me: "Yes, you ARE cutest baby in the universe."

-- and then it feels like all joy and all fun.

Although I do admit to feelings of frustration and boredom in the prior week. My life feels like one big preparation for nap time. It's a little repetitive, not to mention it's a lot of work getting him to sleep, and I sometimes dread the process. But things will be this way for only so long, and I have no excuse to be bored, seriously. As Adam on GIRLS would say, "Boredom is for lazy people with no imagination." SO TRUE.

This week we had our first needle vaccine and ohhhhh my god I can't believe I took my child willingly to a place where he would be hurt. The moment he was stuck with the needle, he cried, tears and all, the shaking hiccup cry, and he looked at me like: "Why?!" Utter betrayal. It's one thing when your kid is crying because he's tired or hungry; pain is a different thing. I nearly lost it and I'm surprised I didn't.

That was the day I wore all my war paint -- a full face of makeup. And it felt really nice. I need to do that more often so I feel good about myself. Everything else is sort of blech. All my clothes are The Worst, I have no good nursing bras, my stomach is flabby and lined with angry looking stretch marks, and my hair is witchy and beginning to fall out.

I really appreciate everyone's feedback on their own parenting experiences. It helps me feel more normal and gives me an idea of what to expect! This week I'm wondering if you have any favorite children's books you enjoy reading your kids, and also if you have any recommendations on good nursing bras. I'm also wondering what your favorite wipes are. I was using Pampers for a while but then realized they have a bunch of chemicals I don't love, then tried Seventh Generation and those suck.

In a few days I swear I'm going to post something 100% non-baby related. It'll be a book post! I've managed to read a few books on my Kindle in the dark while nursing all damn night long. And they've all been really good, probably because I'm not messing around with any novels with crap reviews right now, just going for the good stuff. 'Til then.



Monday, February 03, 2014

On naps

I got a really great response on the last post about getting wee ones to nap! The consensus seems to be: 1) He's too young for sleep training 2) Do whatever works, for godssakes.

And over the last couple weeks I've come to a couple conclusions myself. Those are 1) Don't get used to anything, because the kid changes every day and 2) If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

That's not to say my kid is a napper, because he AIN'T. (YES, still with the capitals.) He WILL nap if I nurse and then hold him the entire time. I tried this one day last week and the kid got like four hours total in naps that day, which is stellar for him. However, that night's sleep was a nightmare, so I was like: Never again. I mean, I've decided I'll definitely nurse him to sleep (when that works, which is about half the time), but I don't have time to hold my baby for every nap. And I'd love to nap when he naps, but no matter how tired I am, my body has rebelled and will not allow me to sleep during daylight hours. No idea what is going on because I used to be a champion napper.

Also, I can't co-sleep because it terrifies me. I literally wake up every night in bed thinking I've suffocated the baby in the blankets. EVERY NIGHT. And I've never co-slept.

(Sidenote re: cats and babies. Maybe some cats are really cool with babies but my cats have sort of been dicks. They wake him up from probably 25% of his naps, so it's sort of a miracle I haven't sold them into kitty slavery by now. And today when I went to get G out of his crib from a failed nap, I came back out to find Simon (who is a CAT) eating my oatmeal.)

Graham does seem to be learning to nap on his own, SOMEWHAT. But he pretty much hates his crib for naps (and who wouldn't, the mattress is as hard as a rock. I understand we don't want our babies to suffocate on cushiony mattresses but seriously I could just use a piece of plywood instead of this mattress) and he FRIGGIN HATES being swaddled.

So this is my next question for you guys -- how long did you swaddle your kids? And is there any good way to transition out of the swaddle? I sometimes let him nap without one (right now, actually), but when I do it ends up being a short nap because he'll either startle awake or hit himself in the face with his hands. Graham struggles in his swaddle all night, every night. I put him down and a couple hours later he will have wiggled 90 degrees to the right as he struggles in his sleep to free his arms from the miracle blanket.

Also, out of curiosity, how long did you let your kid sleep in your room? G is still in our room but I'm weighing the pluses and minuses of moving him to his room.

Anyway, we're all learning and adjusting. Tomorrow he'll be TEN WEEKS! Double digit weeks old! Ten weeks since they sliced him out of me. It's crazy to think about. My husband asked the other day if I ever think about the birth because he'd just thought about it and was reeling again from the memory and I was like I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY. I never thought I'd be a person who was obsessed with the birth of her kid, but I am. And not obsessed in a "how wonderfully miraculous" kind of way but more of a "oh the horror I can't believe I didn't die" kind of way. I think legions of women probably have post traumatic stress disorder from their birth experiences.

ANYWAY.

Guess who's awake?! Gotta go. Give me your best advice!